This post addresses a parent's profound concern for their adult son, who is trapped in a self-destructive cycle of anger, job loss, and anxiety triggered by workplace conflicts and perceived slights. It reframes his behavior as pain beneath anger, emphasizes control over one’s response rather than others’ actions, and encourages silence, self-reflection, pausing, meditation, and journaling.
Our response provides a compassionate and spiritual framework for understanding that this anger is not the core issue but a symptom of a deeper emotional wound. It offers practical guidance on how to help the child shift their focus from trying to control others to developing self-awareness and emotional regulation, steering him toward a path of inner healing and sustainable peace.
✶𝗔𝗱𝗺𝗶𝗻: 𝘐𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘱𝘧𝘶𝘭, 𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝙨𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘶𝘮 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘯𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 (𝘧𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘺/𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘴). 𝘏𝘦𝘭𝘱 𝘶𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘥𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘵𝘢𝘴𝘬 𝘰𝘧 𝘶𝘱𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 & 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘴𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘴. "𝙎𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙞𝙨 𝙎𝙚𝙧𝙫𝙞𝙣𝙜"
The following was written in response to a query we received on our Samadhan WhatsApp group in September 2025. So please read the following in the same context.
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Title:
A Parent's Guide to Helping a Son Manage Anger, Regulate Emotions and Respond to Workplace Criticism Constructively
𝗤𝘂𝗲𝗿𝘆: 𝘏𝘰𝘸 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘐 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘰𝘳 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘮 𝘮𝘺 𝘴𝘰𝘯, 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘪𝘴 𝘶𝘱𝘴𝘦𝘵 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘨𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘣𝘰𝘴𝘴 𝘰𝘧𝘵𝘦𝘯 𝘴𝘤𝘰𝘭𝘥 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘵𝘶𝘥𝘦? 𝘏𝘦 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘳𝘺, 𝘶𝘴𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘣𝘶𝘴𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘶𝘢𝘨𝘦, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘴 𝘶𝘱 𝘭𝘰𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘫𝘰𝘣𝘴. 𝘏𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘴𝘰 𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘸𝘩𝘺 𝘸𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘯𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘰𝘳 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴. 𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘱𝘦𝘰𝘱𝘭𝘦 𝘪𝘨𝘯𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘮𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘢𝘨𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘳 𝘥𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘱𝘰𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴, 𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘹𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘢𝘨𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘳 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥𝘭𝘺—𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘤𝘬 𝘩𝘪𝘮.
Response
Your son is somewhere deeply hurt, and his anger is a mask which hides that pain. As a spiritual guide, I offer this to you, and perhaps through you, to him:
1. Pain Behind the Anger
Tell him, “When someone scolds you, it doesn’t mean you are worthless. Often, people act out of their own frustration. But when we react with rage, we add fuel to a fire that could have gone out.”
He must learn to see beyond the words—to not take every harsh tone as a personal attack.
2. Control Over Self, Not Others
Explain that we cannot force others to speak kindly, to reply to our messages, or to understand us. But we can control how we respond. If he keeps reacting with harshness, the world will keep shutting its doors.
3. The Power of Silence & Space
Ask him gently: “Can you sit with your discomfort without exploding? Can you give space to others and allow silence to speak?” People don’t always respond because they may be overwhelmed, unsure, or afraid of confrontation—not necessarily because they wish to hurt him.
4. Healing the Deeper Wound
Often, such repeated need for answers, validation, and justice comes from an old wound—perhaps of not being heard, seen, or respected. Encourage him to look within: What is he truly seeking? Not just justice—but probably acknowledgment, love, and peace.
5. Your Role as a Parent
You can validate his feelings, but not his reactions. Tell him, “We understand your hurt, but we cannot support your anger turning into abuse. You deserve respect, but so do others—even those who wrong you.”
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6. A Gentle Suggestion for Him
Perhaps he can begin a daily practice—5 minutes of silence, breathing, journaling (writing diary) his emotions before reacting. Over time, this can change the inner pattern.
SUMMARY
This is not just a job issue—it is a soul lesson. About emotional regulation, self-worth, and letting go of needing control over how others behave. Guide him not by fighting his battles, but by helping him grow the strength to not let the battle define him.
'Peace' comes not when others stop hurting us—but when we stop letting them change who we are.
Recommended posts:
➤ Parenting a child with Anger issue
𝔹𝕝𝕖𝕤𝕤𝕚𝕟𝕘𝕤…
On God Service,
Manager, Samadhan, SBSI