Question Answers
Leaving a toxic relationship is never easy—it often comes after a long journey of pain, confusion, and countless attempts to make things work. Yet, choosing to step away is not a sign of weakness but of immense strength, self-respect, and courage. Healing from such an experience is about reclaiming your peace, rebuilding your self-worth, and creating space for growth, love, and new possibilities.
In this post, we will explore how to heal the hurt, the relationship, embrace forgiveness, and choose spiritual growth & self-worth to progress ahead in life.
Subtitle:
𝙳𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚝, 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝙱𝚊𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚌𝚎, 𝙷𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐 & 𝚌𝚑𝚘𝚘𝚜𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝙶𝚛𝚘𝚠𝚝𝚑
✶𝗔𝗱𝗺𝗶𝗻: 𝘐𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘱𝘧𝘶𝘭, 𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝙨𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘶𝘮 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘯𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 (𝘧𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘺/𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘴). 𝘏𝘦𝘭𝘱 𝘶𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘥𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘵𝘢𝘴𝘬 𝘰𝘧 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 & 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘴𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘴. "𝙎𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙞𝙨 𝙎𝙚𝙧𝙫𝙞𝙣𝙜"
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The following was written in response to a query we received on our Samadhan WhatsApp group in June 2025. So please read the following in the same context.
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𝐐𝐮𝐞𝐫𝐲: My husband has been having an affair for 5 years, and we both know about it. Despite me giving him so many chances, he continues his behavior. I have done my best to make this relationship work (incl, Affirmations). But now, for a few months, I have gone into silent mode. Now it’s getting intolerable for me to stay with him in the same house. Please guide me what is best for me.
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𝙍𝙀𝙎𝙋𝙊𝙉𝙎𝙀
Here is our detailed guidance for you👉
As i understand, the most challenging part of this has ended... and you have come through it successfully. Now you have come in connection through this platform, because this was the time for you to "progress ahead" to the next phase of your life.
🌻Your feelings are completely justified. After years of betrayal, broken promises, and verbal abuse, going silent is actually a form of 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟-𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. You are to "save your energy" and "redirect it" to your 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞-𝐩𝐮𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐞 (goals) and 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬.
🍁You are not responsible for fixing him or the marriage alone. A relationship requires TWO people committed to change, adjustment, and healing. As you said, you have tried—𝘢𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴, 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴, 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘰𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧.
𝗦𝗽𝗶𝗿𝗶𝘁𝘂𝗮𝗹 𝗣𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝘃𝗲
Your soul is calling for alignment. The intolerable feeling you are experiencing is your intuition saying this situation no longer serves your highest good.
🌷Sometimes love means 𝐥𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐠𝐨. True love - including 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟-𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 - sometimes requires difficult decisions to honor your wellbeing and growth. If nothing is helping your husband to realise the path of 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐡, 𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐲 & 𝐝𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐚... and if there is a lack of love & respect, then it is good also for him if you 'separate' yourself from his life, and gift him some "space" for 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟-𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 & 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧.
🪻You deserve 𝚙𝚎𝚊𝚌𝚎, 𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚙𝚎𝚌𝚝, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚊𝚞𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚌 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎. These aren't luxuries - they're basic human needs. Remember: Love is not meant to break you. True partnership is built on 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞, 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐭 & 𝐡𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐲, not secrecy and abuse.
Part 2
𝗔𝗳𝗳𝗶𝗿𝗺𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀
You are practising affirmations, so i highly suggest you to follow our 3-page affirmations-guide⇗
Affirm: “I deserve peace. I deserve respect. I deserve love that uplifts me.”
Besides affirmations, practise 𝐩𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐒𝐚𝐤𝐚𝐬𝐡 (sending 'positive' vibrations/thoughts) with a clear 'intention' to heal or transform someone.
Also, follow our detailed guidance on Healing Karmic Account. Find all our posts using this link: https://www.google.com/search?q=site%3Ashivbabas.org%2Fforum+settle+karma⇗
𝗦𝗶𝗹𝗲𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗜𝘀 𝗦𝘁𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗴𝘁𝗵
You mentioned going into silent mode. Silence can sometimes be a shield, 𝐚 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞 𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐫𝐠𝐲. But silence is not supression. Instead of silent suffering, 𝐩𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐞 '𝐬𝐚𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐬𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞'—using quiet moments to reconnect with yourself (𝚙𝚛𝚊𝚢𝚎𝚛, 𝚖𝚎𝚍𝚒𝚝𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗, 𝚓𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚗𝚊𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚐) and ask: "What is my soul asking for now? What is my role here?"
𝗙𝗼𝗿𝗴𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗻𝗲𝘀𝘀 & 𝗕𝗲𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗚𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗳𝘂𝗹
Forgiveness is greatly important in the spiritual journey and growth. Because by forgiving others, you FREE YOURSELF as well as HEAL them 𝐛𝐲 𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 & 𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭... This way, you give them another chance to change and become a better person.
🌈"Be Grateful" for what happened, even when it wasn't pleasant. Because you will realise that 𝐢𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝. You will know that "no one is to be blamed, as whatever we experience, is a result of our own past karma & choices". People just become instruments (medium) to bring you what you have earned with your karma.
✶Tip: Follow our post: 𝐅𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐌𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 (a step-wise guide)
🌳Lastly, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐞. There is LIFE, PEACE, and great JOY beyond this chapter. Stop holding on to what only hurts you—and step into the unknown where 'healing' and 'new possibilities' await. You will be able to release this toxic relationship first by 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 him completely, 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐟𝐮𝐥 for the life-lessons, and then 𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟-𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐡 & 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐭𝐡 over attachment and limited desires.
The Summary
➙'Forgiveness' is essential, even if you choose to part your ways (give divorce).
➙Bless him so his soul is 'empowered' to change its old habits. Remember: "𝙻𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚐𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚑𝚎𝚊𝚕𝚎𝚛"
➙if you find a POSITIVE CHANGE in him after practising 𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐦𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 (link given above), then you may choose to STAY together... but if not, then choose your peace... 𝐚 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 for you.
➙Ultimately, you are guided by your higher self through 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐮𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 (𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠)... so always listen to that. Follow your natural instinct, the gut-feeling.
✶𝐑𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫: I am always here. This divine platform Samadhan is your family. They are truly life-changing. Remember every word you read in this response message and you will cross this easily with God's help.
✶𝗔𝗱𝗺𝗶𝗻: 𝘐𝘧 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘱𝘧𝘶𝘭, 𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝙨𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘶𝘮 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘪𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘯𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 (𝘧𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘺/𝘧𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘴). 𝘏𝘦𝘭𝘱 𝘶𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘥𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘵𝘢𝘴𝘬 𝘰𝘧 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘱𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝘩𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘨 & 𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘴𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘴. "𝙎𝙝𝙖𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙞𝙨 𝙎𝙚𝙧𝙫𝙞𝙣𝙜"
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𝐵𝑒 𝐵𝓁𝑒𝓈𝓈𝑒𝒹..✨
Oᑎ ᘜOᗪᒪY SᗴᖇᐯIᑕᗴ,
𝕸𝖆𝖓𝖆𝖌𝖊𝖗, 𝕾𝖆𝖒𝖆𝖉𝖍𝖆𝖓, 𝕾𝖍𝖎𝖛 𝕭𝖆𝖇𝖆 𝕾𝖊𝖗𝖛𝖎𝖈𝖊𝖘 𝕴𝖓𝖎𝖙𝖎𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖛𝖊 (SBSI)
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