Hold On To Your Values

Becoming our best selves is less about adding new traits and more about steadfastly holding on to our existing virtues. It’s easy to mirror others—responding kindly when treated well and reacting poorly when met with negativity—but letting someone else’s behavior dictate ours erodes our character. Hold fast to your principles even when the world around you seems to abandon them.

➤Expecting others to match your goodness sets you up for disappointment, and copying harmful behavior gradually pulls you away from your values. Instead of trading integrity for convenience, remember that your principles—honesty, kindness, patience—are strengths, not liabilities. Other people may lack what you have, or they may possess different strengths; that doesn’t justify surrendering your own.

➤Make your values nonnegotiable: practice them consistently with everyone and in every situation, without expecting reciprocity. Treat your qualities as assets you radiate, independent of others’ conduct. Repeat this affirmation: “I use my virtues with everyone, regardless of the situation”—and let it guide your actions.