Resolving Conflict in Relationships (Part 1)

In relationships, sometimes we feel that the other person is not only a problem but also a source of conflict. We have to be aware that there always have to be two people involved for there to be an unhappy or conflictive exchange. When we are in any conflict, it is difficult to see and understand the true causes and the real energy of the process of the conflict. 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐮𝐬 𝐝𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐭 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭 𝐮𝐬, 𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐮𝐬 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐡 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐞.

➤In the first place, it is important to recognize that your response in any situation of conflict is your contribution to the conflict. The process of responding to any person or situation is something that takes place inside you. Nothing can make you feel anything without your permission. If you have been in conflict with someone for a time, for sure, you create fear or anger towards them, thus expressing behaviors of resistance when you communicate or relate to them. The other person is not responsible for your emotions or for your behavior.

➤Your experience of the conflict and 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐛𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐠𝐢𝐧 𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐜𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐜𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬. It begins with your perception of the other (how you see others). If you perceive them negatively you will think negatively; you will feel negatively and create a negative attitude; you will behave negatively, and so you will transmit negative energy. You don’t have to do it like that. Perception is a choice.

➤When there is a conflict there is mental and emotional pain, even physical. Who creates that pain? You! Who creates at least half of the conflict? You! Where do you dissolve it? In your consciousness – inside you. Freeing yourself from the conflict is a matter of a decision. At any moment you can decide not to be in the conflict. One side has to dissolve their contribution to the conflict, even if it is temporary, for the process of resolution to be able to begin.

(Continues tomorrow...)