Marriage, often envisioned as a lifelong partnership rooted in love and mutual support, can sometimes become a landscape of misunderstandings, unmet expectations, unresolved conflicts, and emotional distance. When communication falters and trust fades, the strain on the relationship often resonates inward, causing you to doubt your self-worth.
Yet within these challenges lies an opportunityโnot only to heal the relationship-bond but to rediscover and reclaim your inherent value. Healing a marital relationship and nurturing self-worth are deeply intertwined journeys, each requiring courage, vulnerability, and a willingness to grow (both together and individually).
Title: "๐๐๐๐ก๐๐ฃ๐ ๐๐ช๐จ๐๐๐ฃ๐-๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ก๐๐ฉ๐๐ค๐ฃ๐จ๐๐๐ฅ, ๐๐๐ก๐-๐ฌ๐ค๐ง๐ฉ๐"
Subtitle:
๐พ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ข ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐-๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ & ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐-๐ ๐๐๐๐
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โถ๐๐ฑ๐บ๐ถ๐ป: ๐๐ง ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ง๐ช๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ด ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ฑ๐ง๐ถ๐ญ, ๐ฑ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ข๐ด๐ฆ ๐จ๐๐๐ง๐ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ด ๐ง๐ฐ๐ณ๐ถ๐ฎ ๐ฑ๐ฐ๐ด๐ต ๐ช๐ฏ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ ๐ค๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ค๐ต๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ด (๐ง๐ข๐ฎ๐ช๐ญ๐บ/๐ง๐ณ๐ช๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ฅ๐ด). ๐๐ฆ๐ญ๐ฑ ๐ถ๐ด ๐ช๐ฏ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ด ๐ฅ๐ช๐ท๐ช๐ฏ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ข๐ด๐ฌ ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ, ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ข๐ญ๐ช๐ฏ๐จย & ๐ต๐ณ๐ข๐ฏ๐ด๐ง๐ฐ๐ณ๐ฎ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ญ๐ช๐ท๐ฆ๐ด. "๐๐๐๐ง๐๐ฃ๐ ๐๐จ ๐๐๐ง๐ซ๐๐ฃ๐"
The following was written in response to a query we received on our Samadhanย WhatsApp group in May 2025. So please read the following in the same context.
โโโโโโโโโโโโ
๐ดThe following guidance is based on the information you have provided in your query message. Please read nicely and see what you can follow.
Here is our ๐ก๐ ๐๐๐ฅ-๐จ๐๐ค๐ detailed insights and guidance, touching all aspects of your present situation๐
1. ๐ฆ๐ฒ๐น๐ณ-๐๐ผ๐ฟ๐๐ต & ๐ฆ๐ฒ๐น๐ณ ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ฒ
Firstlyโas we understand, there are a few things ๐ญ๐จ ๐ง๐จ๐ญ๐ข๐๐ ๐๐ง๐ ๐ซ๐๐๐จ๐ ๐ง๐ข๐ฌ๐: Your emotionsโ๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐โare valid. Living in an environment where you sometimes face criticism, regular unfair treatment, and emotional inconsistency from loved ones can reduce 'self-esteem' over time.
๐ฅ๐ฒ๐บ๐ถ๐ป๐ฑ ๐๐ผ๐๐ฟ๐๐ฒ๐น๐ณ:
โฅ I deserve ๐ซ๐๐ฌ๐ฉ๐๐๐ญ, both in words and actions.
โฅ My ๐๐จ๐ง๐ญ๐ซ๐ข๐๐ฎ๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ (financial, emotional, household) matters, and should not be weaponized against you.
โฅ Silent treatment, blame-shifting, and threats to abandon the relationship are forms of ๐๐ฆ๐จ๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐๐ฅ ๐ฆ๐๐ง๐ข๐ฉ๐ฎ๐ฅ๐๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง. These behaviors are 'not' healthy expressions of love or partnership.
2. ๐๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ธ ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐๐๐ฐ๐น๐ฒ
You describe a recurring pattern: Arguments โ silent treatment โ your apology โ temporary peace. This cycle can create a trauma bond, where ๐๐๐๐ซ ๐จ๐ ๐๐๐๐ง๐๐จ๐ง๐ฆ๐๐ง๐ญ (of being alone) keeps you within this cycle.
๐๐๐ธ ๐ฌ๐ผ๐๐ฟ๐๐ฒ๐น๐ณ:
โฅ Does your husband 'acknowledge' his role in conflicts, or does he await an apology from you?
โฅ Are you 'respected' for who you are, and your contribution to the family?
โฅ Do you feel 'emotionally safe' and FREE enough to express yourself fully?
โ๏ธThe answers to these questions is the answer to whether this relationship is based on natural love, mutual respect, and understandingโand whether you are seen and cared by everyone. And of course, before this, must you ask yourself: "Do i give my best to maintain a positive atmosphere? Do i love & respect everyone?"
3. ๐ฆ๐ฒ๐น๐ณ-๐๐บ๐ฝ๐ผ๐๐ฒ๐ฟ๐บ๐ฒ๐ป๐
Your fear of 'loneliness' and then 'attachment' to your husband are understandable, but these feelings can trap you in a cycle, as explained earlier. So here are our ๐ ๐ฌ๐ฎ๐ ๐ ๐๐ฌ๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ for you to "reclaim" your self-worth:
๐ฆ๐ฒ๐น๐ณ-๐ถ๐ป๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ป๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ป๐ฐ๐ฒ
As a working woman, you have already built 'financial' independenceโnow extend this to your ๐๐ฆ๐จ๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐๐ฅ ๐ข๐ง๐๐๐ฉ๐๐ง๐๐๐ง๐๐. Write a diary (journal your every day life and write down what happened and how you felt today), talk with trusted friends, and "stay connected" to this divine platform (Samadhan) where you will receive ๐ข๐ง๐ฌ๐ฉ๐ข๐ซ๐ข๐ง๐ & ๐๐ฆ๐ฉ๐จ๐ฐ๐๐ซ ๐ฆ๐๐ฌ๐ฌ๐๐ ๐๐ฌ every day.
๐ฃ๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ฐ๐๐ถ๐ฐ๐ฒ ๐ฅ๐ฎ๐ท๐ฌ๐ผ๐ด (๐บ๐ฒ๐ฑ๐ถ๐๐ฎ๐๐ถ๐ผ๐ป)
Connect to Shiv baba (God, the supreme soul) through what we call RajYog (becoming ๐๐๐๐-๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ & remembering our father, ๐ซ๐๐๐๐ข๐ฏ๐ข๐ง๐ ๐ฉ๐๐๐๐, ๐ฅ๐จ๐ฏ๐ & ๐ฌ๐ญ๐ซ๐๐ง๐ ๐ญ๐ก... And in every day life matters, ask yourself before making any choice: โ๐๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ธ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ญ๐ฅ ๐ฎ๐บ ๐ฉ๐ช๐จ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ด๐ต ๐ด๐ฆ๐ญ๐ง ๐ข๐ฅ๐ท๐ช๐ด๐ฆ ๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฅ๐ฐ?โ (or "๐๐ฉ๐ข๐ต ๐ธ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ญ๐ฅ ๐๐ฐ๐ฅ ๐ข๐ด๐ฌ ๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฅ๐ฐ?")
๐๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ฎ๐๐ฒ ๐ฏ๐ผ๐๐ป๐ฑ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ถ๐ฒ๐
Politely but firmlyโdisengage (๐๐๐ญ๐๐๐ก ๐ฒ๐จ๐ฎ๐ซ๐ฌ๐๐ฅ๐ from the situation & the emotions) when taunts or criticism arise (e.g., โI wonโt participate in this conversationโ). ๐๐๐ฆ๐๐ฆ๐๐๐ซ: Boundaries are not about changing others but protecting your PEACE.
4. ๐๐ผ๐บ๐บ๐๐ป๐ถ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐๐ฒ ๐๐ผ ๐ฅ๐ฒ๐๐ผ๐น๐๐ฒ
When your husband is receptive and 'open to listen' during those peace-moments, try framing the conversation (politely) around "your needs" rather than accusations:
โI feel hurt and isolated when disagreements lead to days of silence. Can we find a way to resolve conflicts without shutting down?โ
โWhen your parents criticize me, I need to feel supported by you. How can we work together on this?โ
If he dismisses or blames you, it may signal an unwillingness to changeโa critical insight that can help you decide the next steps.
5. ๐๐ถ๐๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐๐ฒ๐ฎ๐น๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐ฆ๐ฎ๐ธ๐ฎ๐๐ต
A spiritual and deeply renewing way to HEAL any relationship isโsending them your ๐๐๐ ๐๐จ๐ (positive and transformative vibrations/thoughts with an intention to 'heal' the relationship)
โคPlease read our detailed guidance on our post Sakash (Meaning, Method, Purpose), follow its structure & apply it.
โโโโโโโโโโโโ
Helpful Links
Please read & follow all the given links one by one to find maximum guidance:
โคPost: Self-love, Heal Hurt, End Attachments
โคPost: Healing a 'Family situation'
โคPost: Overcoming Emotional Hurt
๐The best way to get "constant guidance" is to follow our series episodes on "Healing & managing Relationships" in a variety of situations and cases. The series is under our popular TV program ๐ผ๐ฌ๐๐ ๐๐ฃ๐๐ฃ๐ ๐ฌ๐๐ฉ๐ ๐ฝ๐ง๐๐๐ข๐ ๐๐ช๐ข๐๐ง๐๐จ hosted by BK sister Shivani.
โคSeries one ('๐๐๐ฅ๐๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ๐ก๐ข๐ฉ๐ฌ')
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL6mmKavEt551HqVGwRL1hqVi9TQD-03Hp
โคSeries two ('๐๐๐ฅ๐๐ญ๐ข๐จ๐ง๐ฌ๐ก๐ข๐ฉ ๐๐๐ง๐๐ ๐๐ฆ๐๐ง๐ญ')
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLsc5xwFxdoFzdVvaHu2Uhw2X-k9ecVGlR
โ๏ธWatch both series from above shared playlists. Watch regularly to keep yourself on the path and feel motivated.
โถ๐๐ฑ๐บ๐ถ๐ป: ๐๐ง ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ ๐ง๐ช๐ฏ๐ฅ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ด ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ฑ๐ง๐ถ๐ญ, ๐ฑ๐ญ๐ฆ๐ข๐ด๐ฆ ๐จ๐๐๐ง๐ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ด ๐ง๐ฐ๐ณ๐ถ๐ฎ ๐ฑ๐ฐ๐ด๐ต ๐ช๐ฏ ๐บ๐ฐ๐ถ๐ณ ๐ค๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ฏ๐ฆ๐ค๐ต๐ช๐ฐ๐ฏ๐ด (๐ง๐ข๐ฎ๐ช๐ญ๐บ/๐ง๐ณ๐ช๐ฆ๐ฏ๐ฅ๐ด). ๐๐ฆ๐ญ๐ฑ ๐ถ๐ด ๐ช๐ฏ ๐ต๐ฉ๐ช๐ด ๐ฅ๐ช๐ท๐ช๐ฏ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ข๐ด๐ฌ ๐ฐ๐ง ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ญ๐ฑ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ, ๐ฉ๐ฆ๐ข๐ญ๐ช๐ฏ๐จย & ๐ต๐ณ๐ข๐ฏ๐ด๐ง๐ฐ๐ณ๐ฎ๐ช๐ฏ๐จ ๐ญ๐ช๐ท๐ฆ๐ด. "๐๐๐๐ง๐๐ฃ๐ ๐๐จ ๐๐๐ง๐ซ๐๐ฃ๐"
โโโโโโโโโโโโ
๐ต๐ ๐ต๐๐๐๐๐๐น..โจ
Oแ แOแชแชY SแดแแฏIแแด,
๐ธ๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐พ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐พ๐๐๐ ๐ญ๐๐๐ ๐พ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ด๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ (SBSI)
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