Love begins with a good friendship. But how to differentiate between true ''made for each other'' love and a good friendship? In this case the parents were against their marriage and they also didn't intend to hurt their parents or go against their will. So the Kumari (unmarried girl) asks advice to deal with this - Should I marry? and How to convince our Parents?
Original Email Received
Dear sister shivani,
I am Misba 25 yrs old, from my childhood I feel i am never happy in my life. When ever I try to be happy something happens.
Now, when I was in UK for studies I cried everyday thinking this is not for me. I wanna go back home. There I met my classmate Faizan and we really became close in short amount of time, that time I thought he is just my close friend and we used to fight alot, so I was thinking I don't want a partner like him.
Now my parents got me engaged in Oct 2018. I was never interested in this proposal. When I told my parents they said " accept this because ye dua ka rishta hai", should marry a man whom parents have chose. But no I don't want this. They say if i marry someone else i will never be happy.
I feel now m missing faizan and want to spend my life with him, but my parents are not agreeing neither his parents , the reason they say is society.
I don't wanna hurt my parents nor I wanna leave faizan. Please guide me what shall I do?
Our Email Guidance
To: Anyone who needs this
From: Prajapita BrahmaKumari Ishwariya Vishwa Vidhyalay (Godfatherly University)
About: Decision making on a Relationship
Dear Divine Sister
This is about your feelings, isn't it? Have you not observed that your own feelings are not constant? Sometimes you feel that one person is good for you and in second moment you feel the opposite?
1. The reason why you may are not feeling touched by anyone even when surrounded by many is - that you soul is not fitting, you are not fitting into that atmosphere. You the soul desire something else deeply, while the body lives. You sometimes wish to have another way of living. Do you feel like that?
Recognise and Love the self: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FF7KnU5uEHw
Feeling Depressed?: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xY2Ha_HqHR0
2. To make a decision, first, our mind needs to DECIDE the better choice among 2 or more choices. And for this, we must understand clearly all the choices we have. It is YOU who are making a choice and hence you must know YOURSELF first. What is my inner desire? What do i wish to do in this life? Remember that life is s precious gift. You are the painter/designer.
'Marriage' is a great value. One cannot and should not go in the flow of feelings and get married to a stranger. The word ''stranger'' is for anyone whom you don't know completely. In today's time you also know that it is very difficult to judge.
Your parents must have thought more about this. Family's support is VERY important for ''after-marriage life''. Isn't it? Even the boy's parents have to accept you.
CONCLUSION (PRACTICAL ADVICE)
Seeing this all, you should consider what to do. You have always seen 'faizan' as a 'friend'. Right? So you can still remain a friend. If you still believe that you have a deeper connection with that soul (Faizan) then go ahead and talk with your parents. Explain them calmly about your feelings for him. Apply every good way to convince and see the result. If they are convinced for your this relationship, then know that you both are really ''made for each other''. If not, then conclude that this all was only a play of our ''Past life karmas''. Refer: Law of Karma & Living
It is assured that if you follow sincerely it will forever change your life, as it did for many.
You have come in connection with us and hence it is our prime responsibility to give you the God's message - that God has come. Come and know more about us -> https://www.brahma-kumaris.com/about-us
To do anything in life, one needs one or more of our 8 powers (Refer: 8 powers of Soul). So how to develop these 8 powers? - Through RajaYog or Rajyog meditation.
Also that it is God's shrimat to live as in purity (celibacy). This purity is the mother of peace, love and spiritual powers.
* Celibacy (article): https://www.brahma-kumaris.com/celibacy
Do visit all given links to learn more. This may and should change your life forever. Take this opportunity.
Flowers of fragrance.
On Godfatherly World Service