3 Incorrect Happiness Beliefs & the Truth (Part 2)
Yesterday we identified how owing to one wrong belief, we thought that happiness depends on our achievements. Today, let us check two more incorrect happiness beliefs and understand the truth.
𝗕𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗲𝗳 𝟮: "𝙸 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚋𝚞𝚢 𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚜"
Suppose I believe that buying my dream car gives me happiness. I may purchase and own the most expensive car. I have essentially bought physical comfort. While on a long drive in it, I could get one phone call conveying an unpleasant news which finishes my happiness. If my car gave happiness, happiness would stay despite the call. Even after the call, my car continues to give physical comfort and my physical body is comfortable. Since happiness is an emotional comfort, it disappeared when I (who is looking for happiness) went into pain after the call. Why do we feel happy upon buying a car? Because when we create a thought - I bought my dream car, it generates a feeling of happiness. So, we used an object (car) as a stimulus to create a response (positive thought).
𝗧𝗿𝘂𝘁𝗵: Let us not purchase objects seeking happiness in them. Everything physical is designed to give physical comfort. Happiness is an emotional comfort.
𝗕𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗲𝗳 𝟯: "𝙵𝚊𝚖𝚒𝚕𝚢 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚏𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚜 𝚐𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚖𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚙𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚜"
Moving between acceptance and expectations, our relationships are getting strained. We focus on what to get from relationships rather than what to give. Our expectations from each other are increasing. We are accepting people only when they, speak, behave as per our needs. If I equate my happiness to others obeying me, it cannot last. As soon as someone obeys the first time, I give them my next expectation. So, happiness leaves me at this point, only to return if the person obeys again. Otherwise, I get upset. People have their definitions of rights and wrongs, so setting expectations will always spoil relationships and reduce your happiness.
𝗧𝗿𝘂𝘁𝗵: No one can make us happy or sad. Happiness is our emotion, our internal creation regardless of the quality of our relationships.
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Message for Today
"To be a well wisher means to think of changing first"
Expression: Being a well wisher just doesn’t mean wishing others well. It also means having good wishes for the self and having the pure desire to bring about a change for the better in the self. So whatever the kind of situations, instead of just judging others and what they need to change, the one who is a well-wisher constantly brings about transformation in the self.
Experience: For having worked on myself under all circumstances and having used every situation as a chance for self-progress, I constantly enjoy every-thing that comes my way. I have no expectations, but just think of benefit for others and myself. I then never find any situation to be an obstacle, but use it as a step for progress.